Like the drops of dew that hang off the leaf tips on a crisp spring morning and drip to the ground. Such a carefree, easy feeling that brings with it the promises of new beginnings. Anyone who has ever experienced falling in love thinks about that butterflies-in-the-tummy, weightless, exciting feeling. You can read countless pages about it in romance novels, watch lovers on the big screen with stars in their eyes, and listen to lyrics streaming from the speakers of this joyous experience. All of which ends at….pretty much that.
Very rarely do you see the next chapters of the book or the next scenes in the movies. The ones that include raised voices, slammed doors, and sitting on bathroom floors crying. The bathroom tends to be my favorite place because I can run the shower and not have to answer the questions of “why are you crying?” or “what’s the matter mommy?” from the little ears that are always listening and aware. I’m not trying to be dramatic here, just realistic.
“Falling in love” is always limited to that early, brief moment in time when a relationship is still new and it’s ink still wet. Before bills, responsibilities, and kids. Before dirty dishes, unfolded laundry, vet visits and leaky pipes. Before surgeries, job changes, uncertainty and growth. Before…..well, real life.
I do not have the pleasure of falling in love any longer. I will likely never “fall in love” again. My husband and I have been together for 10 years and married for 8. We are raising 3 beautiful girls and go through every day with all that it entails. We do what we can, when we can, for each other and ourselves. It’s an ever-constant battle and it’s not always easy. In fact, it is rarely easy.
I do, however, have the benefit of STANDING in love. These years have taught me that falling in love was the easy part, standing in love is harder and much more rewarding. The moments when we can look into each other’s eyes and know EXACTLY what the other is thinking because we have spent hours pouring our thoughts, dreams and fears into each other. We have laughed together, cried together, prayed together, and created life together. We have worried over what the future holds, steps in our career, ear infections, croup and pneumonia in our kids; worried over burnt dinners, thermostats and deadlines….. all together.
We stand in love each and every day when the weight of the world and our lives feels like cinder blocks on our backs. When we fall, we pick each other up and continue on this path we have chosen. Sometimes I am the weaker one, sometimes he is. It doesn’t matter. There are ups and downs, push and pulls, smiles and tears, but it is ALWAYS brighter on the other side.
Falling in love is beautiful, STANDING in love is difficult and one of God’s greatest gifts.
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