I’d like to believe I have myself relatively put together. I am a young woman, wife and mother of three beautiful little girls. Having a 5 year old, three year old and 6 month old living in your home is the equivalent of trying to tame the strongest storm on a daily basis inside your own living room. Always unpredictable, always amazing.  In all of this, I still manage to get all four of us ready each morning and out the door. Unfortunately out the door does not always mean out the door on time. There is usually a very emotional argument with my kindergartner about what she will be wearing that day. This often occurs at the same time that my preschooler is bumbling down the stairs and inevitably bumps her head or stubs her toe or some other God awful thing that requires immediate mommy attention and kisses. All the while my husband, who often times works well into the night, is begging me to get dressed as quickly and quietly as possible so that I can turn the light off soon enough for him to fall back asleep. New days, same battles.

The other night while Lillian (the strong-willed 5 year old that rules my house) was about to go to sleep, she asked if she could say this night’s prayers for a change. Very pleased to see her spiritual motivation, I agreed and she turned away her head from me to have a moment alone with God. She prayed for the expected things, like gratitude for this beautiful world, our wonderful home and her family. She even mentioned a friend a daycare that would be leaving soon as his mother was going to become a stay at home mom. Then she said something that I had not expected, but quickly realized was the reason she had turned her ahead away from me while she prayed. In a much lower, more serious tone, she prayed “…and God, please help my mommy because she is having a bad day. Please tell her that it is okay to run late sometimes and she really shouldn’t yell so much. This would make me most happy”.  My heart sank and leaped at the same time. I was so proud of her for having the courage to ask God for something that really mattered to her and I was instantly ashamed of myself for putting her in the position that she needed to ask God for assistance in calming mommy down.

As women, we have to be constantly aware of how our actions are affecting the lives of those around us. Every move we make is under the watchful eyes of someone. Whether it be our spouse, our boss, our parents, our friends or our children, someone is watching or (even worse) depending on the results of our actions. It is a tremendous responsibility that forces us to be the calm within the storm of our daily lives AND theirs. Ever notice that while children are screaming, husbands are venting, televisions are blaring, food is burning, there is an unspoken expectation that we will be able to keep it together? As though any show of the stress that we carry will some how tip the scales that balance our households? And inevitably with such a bend in the fabric within which we live, somehow everyone else’s day simply becomes that much worse and absolutely intolerable.

Well ladies, as narcissistic as it sounds, it is because we truly are the glue that holds everything together. Yes, everyone really does expect us to hold it together long enough for them to get through whatever passing moment in their lives is causing them distress. Our children depend on us to protect the sanctity of their innocent lives and to pretend that nothing else in the world matters other than their happiness. Our husbands depend on us to be their source of calm and comfort after a day at work regardless of how difficult their jobs may seem to us. Our employers expect us to perform at the level of any other male, female, unmarried, and childless employee that they have. Despite using any available PTO time to care for contagious children with fevers, hand-foot-mouth spots, strep or other infections. Vacation? Ha! Vacation used to mean a few days in the sun and now vacation to me usually means I get a chance to browse the isles of Walmart childless during a brief moment of solitude on my husband’s rare night off. Regardless of the injustice of it all, they truly do depend on us.

I have decided to embrace this responsibility rather than curse it. Who else can say that they are THIS important to so many people? Who else can balance this many baskets on top of their head and walk the high wire as delicately as I do? Who else can wear the many hats that read wife, mother, friend, sister, daughter, employee and not cave from the weight of it all? Not many. So today, I will try and be better at all of those things and wear my many titles with honor. Today, I will try and go to sleep without spending hours worrying about what the next days, weeks, months will bring. I can do this. Why? Because I have to. After all, they all need me to……….and I’m awesome.